sharing myself, Uncategorized

Do “Ghost Thoughts” Haunt Anyone Else’s Mind???

“Forgetting pain is convenient. Remembering it, agonizing. But recovering the truth is worth the suffering.”
-Cheshire Cat

Hey everyone! I first want to say I am sorry for not being active at all this week on here. I am about to start the last week of this term and since there are no breaks between this one and the next I am really trying to finish this term up early to create a small break for me next week. I find it very beneficial to have the few days off in between terms. Secondly, I have just been depressed this week (to be real with you) as I am sure you can tell by the title of this blog. I was told this week that I need to write for an audience of one-Me. My blogs are good but they are not my best because I am worrying too much about what people will think. So, in light of that wisdom that was bestowed to me this week, I am going to write just for me from now on.

Do you like my Alice in Wonderland theme for this blog??? I hope you get my subtext of it 🙂

“Forgetting pain is convenient. Remembering it, agonizing. But recovering the truth is worth the suffering.” Chesire Cat

Well, my ghost thoughts started on Father’s Day and then the week (not to mention my mind) just went to shit after that. I obviously have birth parents. I am not speaking about them though when I am saying mom and dad. I felt I should clarify that. I sure as hell am NOT going to talk about my birth father in relation to fucking Fathers Day!!! NOPE. . . I was depressed and grieving on Father’s Day because I lost a truly Great man, person, father, grandfather to my kids, and friend back in 2013. He was my husband’s father. His name was John and I am tearing up now just typing this. The pain never goes away, does it? I know it may be selfish on my end but I cant help and think why give me such a fucked up birth father and fucked up childhood, then at 17, give me dad. Then 13 unbelievably fast years later take him away??? WHY??? I know I should be grateful for just having those 13 years and I AM. But it just pisses me off. I mean, it makes me so filled with fury and rage. He was the most awesome person to talk to. We both shared a huge love for the Beatles and I will never forget our discussions about the members, songs, and analyzing their albums. Having a beer with him and playing Rook we made an awesome team together. We had our system and communicated without communicating and kicked ass being Rook team-mates because he was intuitive like me. He was a thinker like me too and he also had anxiety like me. At family get togethers we would give each other that mutual understanding smile, that I feel only a daughter and father can share. An understanding of- I see him and he sees me and yes this whole socializing thing you do on the holidays can be overwhelming but that’s what you do Emily when you have family like this that love each other. You get together and enjoy one another no matter the awkwardness of it. He encouraged me to write too. He also was a Stephen King fan like me!!!! I like to have fell out when I discovered this. So, of course we had those discussions and analyzed his books together because any real King fan knows there are all kinds of subtext and innuendos in King’s books. The tears are just flowing as I share this with you. My fingertips are growing cold and numb as I type and I wish this fucking loss I feel would. I watched endless baseball games, talked hours of baseball with them teaching me the game, players, teams, hell even the baseball fields, and every Monday night rain, snow, or shine, you can bet your sweet ass that dad was making chili and we are gonna be watching wrestling in those first years with my husband and dad. Oh, God how it fucking hurts not to have him here anymore and that HE’S not HERE to make those memories with his granddaughters now. And Gods how he loved his granddaughters. I cherished it so much having that male attention and affection from an awesome father figure that I had NEVER experienced in my life before. I never was really even comfortable around men nor trusted men until I met my husband (Mikey) and our brother (Jason) and our father.( Dad). You know what? I would fight the battles a hundred times over in my childhood again and again if it meant I would always receive the blessings I received at 17 years old. Growing up I would beg God and Jesus please send me someone to love me. I remember praying, “ Please let me have a good decent husband and children God please let me have that when I am an adult. I don’t care about money or anything else God if you would just give me a family that loves and really knows who I am and likes who I am and who encourages me to be who I am“… Ya know, I guess the universe knew what it was doing the whole time because I actually received my wishes and my prayers were definitely answered. Mikey (Real name Michael, and yes, like the Great Archangel Michael) swooped in and saved me when I needed it the most at 17. He became my best friend and I fell in love with him and his family. HIs father overheard my real mom’s husband (Not as horrifying as my birth father but still sorry as hell) on the phone one night saying “Get home to give me a blowjob. We are drunk and your mother says to come home. I need a blowjob.” This was in 2000 and back then houses had landlines. There was two in Mikey’s house. During that conversation I was yelling and crying into the phone and on the other phone Mikey and his parents were listening. They knew I was damaged enough. They knew I had so many fucked up problems and nightmares of my memories from my childhood when I stayed all night. Needless to say, when they observed my conversation, Mom and dad became outraged. They were adamant about me moving in and so I did exactly that. I never went back home for a night EVER again. I am 36 today. I do not know what would have happened that night if I had went home. My real mom was drunk and I know that she would not have let him touch me if she was awake but who knows if she would have been? I never found out and I thank God everyday for the family he sent me at a time when I needed them the most. I am sorry but I have shared enough for the night. I feel sick now and ashamed because of talking about my real father here and there and mentioning my childhood and the damage from it and now IM feeling those feelings even though I did not go into that much detail about my life with my real parents or mother’s husband….It was enough for now for me to share. Also feeling the loss of the one great father that I did have…uhh uhh. Too much. So, Thank you for reading my blog. Sorry to cut if off like this but I just can’t… anymore tonight.

On a lighter note, Yay for Reading! As my dear cousin Heather said today, ” To read or not to read.” or Like in the great Blind Melon song, No Rain, he says ” It rips my life away but it’s great escape”

I have read two awesome books this week. That is what I tend to do these days when I am down or haunted by my own miserable mind. I started that as a child but as I grew into a teenager I turned to drugs for times like this which turned into addictions. So, now that I am not spending my life that way, in the last couple of years I have turned back into a book addict. I read Trust Me and that was a disappointing end in it and I do not even remember the author’s name at the moment but I felt unsatisfied when I was finished with it. The second book I read was by one of my favorite authors Blake Crouch. The title of this one is Black Matter and I loved it. It is one of those books that create a lot of thought provoking “what ifs about what if the multiverse really exist” while you read it. I also loved his Wayward Pine series I read last year. I got another one by him this week , but I have not read it, called Recursion. The Silent Patient is my current book I started it today and LOVE IT. The author is Alex Michaelides and this is the first time I have ever read his book. I think it just came out this year. It is about a psychoanalysis who is working in an artist , a painter, that supposedly killed her husband. She was found with her own wrists cut deep at the murder scene and fingerprints on the murder weapon. It has been six years so far and she has not spoken since. She has done a self-portrait of herself though (I think this is a major clue in figuring out what happened that night) but I have not finished the book yet anyway. I still will not say anything else because no spoilers here folks. I hate spoilers so I will not give any away during any of my P.O.V.’s of books, shows, or movies in my blog. Well, thank you for coming and I hope you enjoyed this week’s only blog.

In relation to my current book I am reading, here is an awesome quote from the beloved good ol’ Sigmund Freud “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” I love this because If I have learned anything in my life, it is this!
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sharing myself

Sharing about who I am…

I wanted to share this because I can proudly say that I used my trauma from childhood to learn and grow into a decent person instead of continuing the cycles of abuse and much more. I am not perfect nor will I ever be. I am not over it nor will I ever be. I have accepted all of it and that is a huge step in healing. Was for me at least. Facing the trauma and knowing it was not my fault and learning I am not tainted or poisoned because of it. Thankfully, I met someone and his family at a young enough age that they could heavily influence me and in a lot of ways raise me. I owe every bit of the good in me to him and his family. My grandmother (Nanny) is blood and (as she would have said, “Bless her pea picking heart” ) was also a huge influence and I would NOT have survived it if not for her I do owe her a huge Thank you Nanny! I am so grateful I had you as a child in my life. Even though we did not meet eye to eye on your Pentecostal religion.(That’s another story for another time) Thank you Mikey, mom, dad, Jason, Grandma, Heather, Aunt peggy and the rest of the Hicks.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself-Or finding anything… Life is ABOUT CREATING YOURSELF.”

BOB DYLAN

Hello everyone! How are we all doing this week so far? I am having an okay week I guess. I am still adjusting and learning to blogging. I have had a rough week with one of my children. I just wish she knew what I meant yesterday when I used a metaphor similar to the road not taken by Robert Frost. I feel like she is more or less at a very important crossroads type of situation in more ways than one. I just hope she heeds my advice about being mindful about what consequences will come after certain actions. I plan on using this post to get a little more personal with all of you about who I am and how and why I am who I am today. If you read this and are surprised about anything I said please keep in mind that we all have our own perspectives about life and also things that happen in life. These posts on this blog are merely just my perspectives on stuff. That is why it is called L.T.’s POV. The L.T. is for Louise Tate. I did it this way because part of my class next year will be about starting a blog and creating a pseudonym. When I found this out I thought why not go ahead and start this since it could be a growing experience for me as a writer. . Anyways.. Back to L.T. (Louise Tate )Both of the names are from grandmothers that hold a very special place in my heart for different reasons. The POV is of course POINT OF VIEW. Before I start I just want to tell the ones that have messaged me saying they like and enjoy my blog (u know who u are) thank you so much. To the ones that comment -thank you too and I am so grateful for all of you for being here with me. … I read today that people get bored with long blogs. I read not to write long parts so in light of that I guess I am already finished with this blog. LOL, wow. Why do I either read online or have other classmates telling me people do not like to read? I am constantly being told not to be too wordy in my assignments. I have to say I had no idea and this is very hard for me. I lucked out with my Humanities Professor. Professor John is what he has us call him. (if any Hicks blood are reading this, you know why I immediately liked him because of that name.) He actually loves all of my wordiness and encourages it. He even likes me being outspoken and likes how much my beliefs, views, and feelings affect my assignments. Example: I had to write a paper on The Statue of Liberty after reading an article he assigned to us. There was many questions and here you go I am gonna copy and paste one of the questions a long with my answer:

Emily A. Hicks

                                                  Humanities 100 4-3 June 2, 2019

  1. Having read the articles presented in this learning block, reflect on how their discussion of intent and the changes to it affect your interpretation or understanding of the Statue of Liberty.

Before reading these articles I had read and knew The Statue of Liberty was based off of a Roman Goddess named Libertas who represents freedom. However, after these articles, I learned something surprising and new. She was originally created from the statue inventor (Bartholdi). He created her for Egypt to be placed near the Suez Canal. Her Egyptian and Muslim history was very surprising and I am happy to have learned this knowledge. It saddens me greatly and fills me with shame that America is in the process of losing our roots. My personal feelings about the dehumanization of immigration in the United States, that I am currently raising my two daughters in, is heart -breaking to me. I think this is a sad and scary fact of the world we are now living in. The truth is just simply allowing the P.O.T.U.S. to use dehumanizing language is scary in itself. This dehumanization should make Americans angry and upset but from what I observe this is actually allowing us to dismiss proper judgement and real feelings about it all around. Why do we not understand allowing our system to exist with dehumanizing corruption is in fact making us dehumanize ourselves? My own feelings about it is that Lady Liberty has hugely fallen from grace in the past few years. Lady Liberty’s Muslim and Egypt roots are ironic in a poetic kind of sense to me because we are now closing borders to Muslims and other Immigrants. If Lady Liberty could, I believe she would bow her head in shame.

Okay, Are you still with me? The above portion in black is my answer for the first question. Now here is the feedback from my Professor:

AIndividual Feedback Hi Emily,Thanks for your submission and your note–I certainly do not mind if you go a little beyond the scope of the assignment. Connecting what we are doing in the course to what is going on in the present is more than welcome. You are making some important observations, and I think that you are right in drawing those connections.Please see the rubric for your complete score and my comments.-John
HUM 100 4-1 Rubric feedback: Excellent job! You provided in-depth analysis, and you incorporated the specific ideas of the course. I enjoyed reading your thoughtful work.
Engagement of Response: You did a good job thinking about the different ways that we can interpret the Statue of Liberty!
Response Content: Well done! Nice job considering the relationship between France and the US and in relation to current events.
Question: I’m glad to see that you are considering thoughtful questions about your artifact.
Communicates Clearly: Your answers are well written.
Statue Of Liberty and the New Jersey skyline at dusk

So, anyway, that was just a small example of how open I am in this class and how awesome my instructor is. I guess you should be open-minded if you teach a Humanities course lol. I certainly hoped so. My Liberal Arts was not as accepting of the way I write and even gave me a B- for being too wordy ! Yes, I cried because that is the lowest grade I have ever made and I’m two weeks away from starting my 3rd term. I spend a lot of time on my courses so it means a lot to get them awesome grades.

I guess I will go but I want to apologize if I did not fulfill my main intention with this blog. Which was to share some of my personal side with you all. Just think about it like this: My college is huge to me and a huge part of my personal side right now in my life. I know so many expected me to fail and thought I would not stick with it or just would not do as well as I am doing. I want to clarify that I am glad I have been told that some folks are thinking that of me because I turned that hurt into motivation to not only succeed but to do my absolute best. So, Thank You. I just do not share who I really am with many people. I am weird like that. I use my anxiety to build a wall and keep it up at all times. I hate that about me. It makes me come across as fake and ungenuine or worse, as a stupid person. I just do not know how to be me around people. I am so worried about not being loved or accepted for my own original thoughts, feelings, and views. The only people left on this Earth that know the real Em is my husband, two daughters, and my brother. My blood family do not even know me. The brother I speak of , the mom and dad I talk about are not my blood family. Nonetheless, the Hicks family are more to me than I could have ever asked for and more family to me than any blood family I have. They showed me love that I never knew existed or understood my whole life until I moved in with them at 17. Well, I will explain more this weekend. I made this blog entirely too long I guess. If you are still with me THANK YOU! thank you thank you 🙂

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Sunday’s Blog

“Blogging is to writing what extreme sports are to athletics: more free-form, more accident-prone, less formal, more alive. It is, in many ways, writing out loud.”

Andrew Sullivan

Hey Everyone! Sorry about last night’s post being a few days late. ( I had it written for you Wednesday). A few thoughts for this week. Firstly, I want to say I really missed blogging. I just did not have the time for it really. I am still nervous about it and feel kinda silly using it the way I am which is kind of like a journal. Secondly, I watched the new Charmed this week on Netflix and loved it. I was not even a fan of the first one. Well, I liked it and watched a couple of seasons many moons ago but I loved the new one. I like the three witches in it a lot. The story line was awesome and the effects too. My husband even liked it and watched every episode with me. Another new one we watched a couple weeks ago was Roswell. The flashbacks to the 90’s and aliens !!! For me, that is a couple of my favorite things ever. Last night we stayed up all night and watched a show called Black Mirror. We lite one of our Yankee Candles that Heather( a cousin) gave me. In case you see this ( thanks again Heather for my candles). We had not stayed up like that in years and watched the sun rise. I was so happy last night because at about 7 p.m. I uploaded and submitted my final assignment for school. This week was good in school. I chose the Aboriginals and one of their paintings as my ancient artifact to write about. Hell, here check out the image

Aboriginal Ancient Art from 50,000 years ago of the Wadjinas (Ancestral Spiritual Beings)

I enjoyed that a lot since I love to study the Aboriginals. I find them fascinating and they have the oldest cultural History and their History is all passed down through stories, cave art, songs, and drawings. They have no written languages. Does anyone else think their Wadjinas favor our version of Aliens? They even talked about this on Ancient Aliens. That is just one of their pictures and there are so many more that look like it. Well, guess I should go but I am going to save this draft and finish it up tomorrow. If you are still reading this I want to say a quick thank you.

New Season of Black Mirror !

Season 5 of Black Mirror is on Netflix! Although the season is short for even this show , ( it only has three episodes) I really loved all three episodes. The first episode was nuts. I am not going to give away any spoilers but when ol boy said, ” I fucked a polar bear man and it still wasn’t as good! A fucking polar bear”! Oh for fucks sake 🙂 I was laughing so hard. I also want to share that I am in a long-term marriage (19 Years together) and at the end of it my husband says to me ,”But that is actual cheating. He is not cheating in the same way.” UHHH REALLY? WTF. That game has all pleasure and pain sensors going on during the time that you are playing! a hem …I am sorry but I have to say , Leave it to a man to say some shit like that. Just kidding guys 😉 I really do not want to give anything away so I can not really elaborate more than that but here is my opinion that I oh so kindly shared with my old man : “Of course that is fucking cheating, Mikey! ” I do not care if its virtual or not. Hell, even if you could not get those physical sensations during the game, cheating is cheating in my book. Actually cheating online may be even worse than physical cheating because it is freaking EMOTIONAL cheating. Emotions are more intense and more meaningful and harder to let go of than a hour long physical act with someone you never see again. I do not think either is good for a relationship. That being said sorry but cheating is cheating. An emotional affair is just as wrong as a physical one. The second episode was great too. No spoilers but I will point out that the dude with the long hair that is at the silent retreat is freaking Topher Grace! Then on to the final episode: Lemme just say Miley Cyrus had me soooo fucking pissed off through most of the episode because I immediately picked up on the song she keeps singing being a redo from one of my favorite bands NIN! Not just a typical redo but she completely took out all of his lyrics and replaced it with some of that pop bulshit. Folks, I am talking about HEAD LIKE A HOLE. Toward the end you will find out though that it is not (Ashley) the character’s fault.. The cunt aunt is the one to blame and Miley (Ashley in the show) rectifies it by singing the original version Trent Reznor did probably before she was even born. I have to say I loved the Ashley too robot by the end. So, to sum it all up, if you are a fan like me then check it out. The only disappointment is that it is only three episodes. Well, I guess that is all for now. Oh if you are a REESES fan like me then check out the peanut butter lovers new one out. I loved them so much and basically inhaled four peanut butter cups on the spot lol. They taste just like the Smoothies peanut butter cups I used to buy at the Dollar General. I wish they still made them. If you are still reading this I again want to thank you for being here with me on my journey of blogging. I still am reading about personal blogs online and I am still unsure about all of this but I will just keep sharing with you all and hope you stay and support me. I think as an aspiring author this is a huge learning experience because of the fact this is making me share some of my self with the public. If I can do this then I should be able to share what I really want to share (my books) …right???

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Just a quick Hello before I crack the books open

Have a Great Wednesday folks!

Hello everyone hope you are all having a great start to the week. I have a lot of school work to do this week and I worry if I will have much time for my blog. I have spent a lot of time finding followers and reading tips (not much help either) and I have neglected my school work since Sunday. I have not spent any time on creative writing for my personal use either. I even made a fakebook page for this blog. Fakebook was about the only social media I had used before this. Now I have a tumbler account,(whatever that is) , Twitter, and a Pinterest account. Who would have thought this could be so time consuming? This week we get to write papers on Ancient art,Renaissance art,and art from the Middle Ages. So, of course I am super excited to jump into that. The CWRC (Creative Writers Review Club) newsletter was published. There was a mention of me for winning first place for April's story of the month. I have to go but I have a poem I am working on and when I finish it and edit it I will post it. I also hope to share more of myself and I want to thank you for being here with me on this discovery to finding my blog voice. I still have no idea how to use this blog yet or finding my niche.So thank you for your patience. Will be back soon! 
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You Are My Sunshine!

Hello Friends! Hope everyone reading this had an awesome weekend. The highlights of my weekend were putting up a blog. The biggest one is you all! My followers! Yay! YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE! Thank you for making my weekend. If you have not followed me please please please do. So, today I finished my school work and that was awesome. I just finished not long ago so I am not sure how long I am going to blog tonight. I promise tomorrow’s blog will be better. I have plans of trying to get at least a couple of my poems typed and posted this week. I have a lot of poems but they are all handwritten. My stories are too. The delicious cinnamon rolls I made was a highlight for me 🙂 I earned two A’s in my Humanities class. No surprise there because I absolutely love the subjects and material we cover. I already emailed and heard back from my advisor on the fact that I am going to sign up for three more Humanities classes for electives. Yay! The term I am in right now is awesome. My other class is English Comp. Yes, of course, I love it too. I had to write and submit my draft for my Final last week. Today I received back the draft’s grade. I made an A. My professor sent an email saying that draft was difficult to get an A on. She went on to say that a B grade was considered high quality so I am so freaking proud of myself. That’s my three A’s. The draft was actually a 99.25. WTF? She marked off .75 for a brief citation at the end of a paragraph. omg, those citations are gonna be the death of me. I dig all the jazz about the citing because, being a writer myself, I respect giving credit where credit is due. I am 36. A freshman undergraduate in my second term. I have been writing my whole life and an avid reader. Reading is my shit. That is my niche. Ha! (trying to pick a niche for blogging is another blog for another time) I just want to explain that I have never done any school since High School in 2000. That is why the APA format is new and MLA format. I spent a whole week teaching myself both though during the beginning when I learned how to even use Microsoft Word. See, I was OLD School with a capital O. This is All new to me. So, citations in APA and MLA are really new to me. Nonetheless, I love school. I wish I could get a job going to school. HA! I use LOL but um… do not always. I like the old school way of saying laughing out loud like in letters. Ha ha ha 🙂 don’t like those a lot either but it is what it is. I fought the technology age as long as I could but had to accept it in the end. 😦  Hmmm. I went downstairs and I am now at the table and lost all train of thought on this blog. ….The damn Fray playing How to save a life is not helping me get the thought back… I lost a friend..how to save a life ha ha ha. My goal after starting school was to start a blog. GET OVER YOUR freakin FEAR L.T. !!! That my friends is the real freaking goal. I am insecure as **** about well um basically everything. Yep. I’m kind of pathetic and lame in person. LOL, but for reals. Extremely Introverted. But geez my head now that is one no several outgoing talkative mfers up in theya! And them di*** don’t Eva shut the **** up. Eva…They analyzing on top of analyzing everything. Constantly picking apart all kinds of shit.

I’m back had to get a drink of my daughter’s Tampico lol. She just comes up behind me “eewww mom it smells like old people in here.” O WTF I SWEAR..fucking teenagers. yea, I am mad now. I am not covering up the cuss words LOL. And this is my nice one! “God Of Wine” a  fraudulent zodiac I said it now I’m going ur not even around … I said no no no no..I can’t keep it all together. I know I know I can’t keep it all together. lol. love you third eye blind. Shit, my third eye is blind probably at this point. Okay, I am going to have to go. My mean one just came in with her makeup fixed and is trying to take the trash out (She is normally lazy as i’ll ever get out and oh low and behold now she has a keen interest in taking some damn trash she got from her room out at 11:45pm) Right? Guess I will go since she tried to spill my damn drink “accidentally” right by my freakin new compooter ha. So good nite friends. Hootie singing let her cry now. Oh, how poetic….If you read this blog I hope you could hear my cutting up and talk funny to you. Thank you for spending a moment with me. Please follow me and send some love to this here blog

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“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you” Maya Angelou

“The future belongs to a different kind of person with a different kind of mind: artists, inventors, storytellers-creative and holistic ‘right-brain’ thinkers.”

Daniel Pink

Hello Everyone! Good Saturday Morning to you all. I hope you all have a great weekend. Mine has been ,well, uneventful I suppose but nonetheless it has been good. I put a few quotes up today in this post. I am still playing around with wordpress. I have a paper due tomorrow at midnight so I am not going to be here long today. I already have been playing on here for a couple hours. I am finally finished though. Only having one paper left for this week is pretty good and tomorrow I will go over what next week’s assignments are about. I love the Humanities class I am in. I already told my advisor and we signed me up for three more different Humanities courses to use as electives. I love SNHU. The courses are not easy but I have maintained a 4.0 so far. We have 8 week classes as an undergraduate and 10 for graduate classes. Therefore, it is a lot of work piled up for a short period. The rich strong sense of community is what I love about it. We are online students and we do use Adobe for workshops and club meetings. We also have SNHU connect. All the online students are able to join clubs and communicate with each other on connect. I am in the Book Club as an Engagement Officer, sub-committee member in our Paranormal Research Club, and a regular member in our CWC. Creative Writers Review Club. I am going to go for now but will come back later tonight. Please follow my blog and support an aspiring author. Thanks for coming

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Stay Faithful to the Stories in your Head ;)

Hey Everyone! This is Em, Louise Tate, and L.T. We are all three happy to have you. Oh, and Emily too. You are probably wondering who exactly are these women, right? Well, I am all of those women. I am weird and hinky. My blog will, therefore, be weird and hinky. All weirdos welcome. The ones misunderstood or not accepted please have a seat and relax. You are in a similar company here. No judgment here either please. Let’s accept one another and love each other for the good and the bad that makes us … well… human. After all, we all bleed red, do we not?

I am a writer. Some of this content will be real and will be about me.(Emily, Em) Also, some of the blogs here will be non-fictional type blogs and they will be written from my pseudonym.(Louise Tate, L.T.) Either way, I hope you enjoy my odd and twisted take on blogging! Thanks for your support. Hopefully, I have this finally set up correctly.

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Memorial Day in Grief

Hey Everyone! This is my first post and blog ever . I am not even sure if I have everything set up right lol. Oh, well… My goal this year was to start my blog and I made my website months ago but had not blogged yet. I see so many blogs about self-help and ten ways to learn blah blah blah. It makes me feel like I don’t really have a place in the blog world. I am still not sure what this blog is about or the topics I will cover. I have read online that one has to cover a certain topic and stick with it in order to build a following. I guess if that is true , I will not have many followers. I know for sure I will want to cover many subjects in my blog.

Well, today is Memorial Day and I have not even been outside yet today. It is after five pm already. It is humid as fuck I know that. When I was younger though , the southern humidity would not have held me hostage inside as it does now. I remember amazing Memorial days filled with the smell of charcoal grilled foods, the taste of those delicious cheeseburgers, cheddar smoked sausage, hot dogs, and ribs too. I can still taste the tart sour taste of cheap beer and hear the laughter in my head of dad. He would stand at that grill every Memorial cooking for hours. Southern Rock on his radio drifting on the wind being carried across the yard. My two girls would come pull my hand and beg me to turn on the sprinkler for a little bit and of course they would get their way. I can still see dad watching with a twinkle of love in his eye and a touch of sadness on his smile as he watched us play in the water , singing to his oldies, and jump back and forth across the sprinkler. Mom would be inside whipping up the best potato salad you ever had in your life. The memories are so bittersweet now. Hard to believe that was just a few years ago. Now that house and yard are filled with ghosts and haunted with those wonderful memories. It is hard as hell to swallow the fact that they are both gone. I remember all the man wanted was one more summer of baseball watching, growing an awesome garden, and time together on Memorial and the 4th of July. He didn’t even make it to Memorial though. Fact is neither one did and therefore May is filled with sadness for me. sadness and grief. …

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The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me! My name is Louise Tate (among other ones 😉 but my friends call me L.T. and I am so excited to share my journey in life with you. I hope you enjoy my blog. This is my first time having one and some of the things you read in it may be real and some may not be. I am a writer. I want to share my imagination and creativity with you. Thanks so much for reading my blogs and please follow me here on WordPress.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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You May Stay Drunk On Writing, So that Reality Does Not Destroy You 🙂

Ray Bradbury Fahrenheit 451

A personal favorite author and book. Favorite poets are robert Frost and T.s. Elliot, Conrad Aikan, and ella wheeler wilcox